“While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, a doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.
The old rancher said, ’ Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.’
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old rancher said, ’ When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.’
When the doctor still looked puzzled, the old rancher explained.
‘You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there , she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder who the dumb ass was that put her up there to begin with.’
If that is too partisan for you, then chill out with this one from another anonymous internet savant, and forwarded by my daughter.
May it bring at least one smile or two before you cry.
Watch for these mergers before the end of the year. Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.
R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and
become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will
merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and
become: FedUP
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will
become: Fairwell Honeychild
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW!
And finally....
9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new
name: TittyTittyBangBang
Sometimes you just gotta laugh!
Thomasina in Tom Stoppard's mind bending time warping play, ARCADIA, observes that when you stir raspberry jam into vanilla pudding it will first swirl in streaks but ultimately will turn the entire pudding pink. If you stir the pudding in the opposite direction, the jam will not separate back out again. --LIFE MOVES ONLY FORWARD--NEVER BACK!--
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